From the beginning, in this analysis of growth journeys, we have emphasized a key aspect of PRH’s anthropology: the importance of the relational dimension for the growth of persons.

As we have seen in the previous chapters, PRH Helping Relationship involves a conscious and fully consensual commitment on the part of the helpers to enter into an authentic human relationship with persons seeking help. All our observations confirm how essential this is.

“Human life proceeds from a relationship. It can only subsist through relationships. It can only develop in contact with affective relationships, that is, relationships in which it draws affection and warmth, where it encounters deep and positive sentiments of others in respect to oneself.”
Persons and Their Growth, page 127.

Our helping relationship experience convinces us that the relational capacity of helpers can awaken the best in persons. It can stimulate their in-depth life and affirm their personality. This awareness leads us to make a conscious commitment to persons’ growth. It also means that we must have a deep understanding of the dynamics of the helping relationship. Rather than addressing a case or a problem, we must above all relate to persons who come to us with a deep desire to live and a thirst for self-accomplishment.

Relationship is therefore a fundamental component of PRH accompaniment. The relationship must reflect that: “I believe in you… you can risk letting me see all that is grand and beautiful inside you…”, even if persons have a hard time believing this because of their past wounds. Relationship calls forth a person’s life force, even if it is still buried in the unconscious. Relationship means that helpers allow their heart to be touched by the other person’s suffering. A helper’s heart must express itself freely, gratuitously and authentically. It must be able to support, accompany, and offer insight and security. It must believe in and love persons with no expectations or pretence. This relationship is built on sympathy, affection, patience, non-judgmental acceptance, truth and openness. These attitudes allow both persons and helpers to effectively manage the challenges of episodic transference and difficult moments. This kind of relationship encourages persons to stand tall, autonomous and free.

Beyond these helpful attitudes, what impact can this type of relationship have on persons in their daily lives and in their ongoing work in helping interviews? What daily obligations does it impose on helpers, in addition to professional expertise and responsibility? What does getting involved in such a relationship mean? What outcomes can it lead to? To try to answer these questions, we present Catherine’s story. By following her journey, we get a sense of how deeply the relational aspect of PRH Helping Relationship can benefit persons being helped.

In this chapter, we look at a particular type of helping work that influenced and shaped Catherine’s growth journey. Without this type of help, the relationship would not have begun or evolved in the way it did. In fact, in spite of years of experience, of proven work methods, of tools for analyzing and understanding growth phenomena (from her own experience and that of colleagues), the helper had to confront the following reality: all her knowledge was still not enough to help Catherine. The helper had to “put aside” her experience and training, even to the point of “letting go” of them, and rely instead on working with intuition, which is another type of knowledge.

Intuition is often confused with the passing fancies or desires of the sensibility. It can also be controlled, deformed and smothered by the “I”, which tries to explain everything, even the things it does not fully understand. These are real traps that can hinder or even harm a person’s growth, healing and restoration of inner order. When a person’s problem surpasses our understanding and we try to solve it by using ready-made techniques or our own past experience, we can fail to find the approach that fits the uniqueness of the person who comes to us for help. Therefore, in order to work effectively, it is essential for helpers to be conscious of what is going on inside themselves.

“Letting go” of knowledge as a helper, or “putting it on hold”, does not mean ignoring it nor does it imply abdicating common sense or minimizing the importance of professional judgment. It means looking for innovative solutions in individual situations. Working with intuition is not something that can be done in a haphazard way. In PRH, there is a structured and systematic method for discerning intuitions. Helpers must identify, in a lucid and critical way, what is arising from their being in order to help the person they are accompanying.

Each person is unique and each growth journey is unique. In order to grow, a rose needs different conditions than an orchid, even if the two plants need the same basic elements. The same is true for people. The fundamentals of any effective helping relationship are the climate created by helpers, their professional competency and their attitude toward the persons they are helping. However, the helpers’ ability of discerning what arises from their being in order to help a unique person in a given situation is acquired through long and patient personal and professional work. Learning to recognize and use this flair coming from the being does not come automatically or easily. It requires a great deal of openness, humility, docility and vigilance from the “I” to be able to decipher the content of an intuition and to choose the best moment and the best way of assessing whether or not it is well founded. In the journey presented in this chapter, if the helper had not let herself be unsettled and called forth by what was happening inside the person in front of her, Catherine might have had some help, but would not have been able to go to the root of her problem and solve it. The helper’s intuition about what was needed, and about how and when to go about it, allowed the relationship to form and grow. Without the helper’s intuition, no effective helping relationship would have been possible.

Intuition is not a tap that we can turn on whenever we want. In Catherine’s growth journey, the helper consciously and determinedly rooted herself in the basic inner attitudes for helping persons to grow. She stayed close to Catherine, respected her pace, and let herself be moved by Catherine’s problems and her genuine desire to grow. The helper came to believe in Catherine and love her just as she was, letting herself express her real sympathy and affection for Catherine. Rooted in the best in herself, the helper was able to accept “not knowing” how to do things, and to let herself gather and discern her insights as they arose. She consciously and consistently lived out her helping attitudes, which allowed her to make space for helpful intuitions to arise and be recognized. By holding these intuitions up to the reality of Catherine’s situation, she was able to verify whether or not they were sound.
“When Life Breaks Through” pages 135-139